Several Mean Pontiacs, and One Ugly One

I do a lot of driving. Seriously a LOT of it. I'm talking hundreds of miles a week. I notice a lot of things on my journeys. Gas is cheaper in New Jersey than it is in Pennsylvania. Traffic circles and jug handles are idiotic 90(ish)% of the time. There are some really beautiful things to see out the windows of my car. There are some really shitty places too. I see a lot.

For example, today I saw an unbelievably ratty Lincoln Town Car with a completely wrecked suspension- the left side of the car was just about dragging on the ground, while the right side was raised up, and it wasn't because a fat guy was driving. It was just a hunk of shit. Yet, the guy driving, doing his little "gangsta lean" was getting a blow job while driving. Are you serious? I understand the whole road head thing. I do. What I don't understand is how one can have low enough self esteem to engage in this act for someone driving something so heinous, or even being in the bag of shit car with them at all. (Not to mention the whole 'lean thing.)

Another thing I took notice to lately was that most Pontiac vehicles, especially white ones, have a badass, mean look to the front of them. The G8, the GTO, even the G6, or and old Grand Prix.... when seeing them in the rearview mirror, they look like they're the boss. I passed a few white Pontiacs the other day and it popped into my mind- they look authoritative. Their car line was going through my head, and I was thinking about how much I like the look.... and then I pulled up next to a white Pontiac Aztec, and it ruined the whole fucking idea for me *snap* just like that.

People do some crazy stuff while driving. I don't just mean talking on the cell phone or applying mascara. They never cease to amaze me with their creativity, or their multitasking abilities. Even I cannot manage to drive, smoke a cigarette, and dunk a doughnut in the coffee I'm drinking while doing a crossword puzzle I found when I was reading the newspaper and texting my boss about the reports I'm reading on my laptop on the passenger seat. Who paints their nails while driving? I can see it, maybe, if you're stuck in dead stopped traffic, but while doing 90 on the freeway? Really? Remember PS1, with the tiny screen? Play Tony Hawk while driving? Wowzas!

One final note before I go back to watching my movie... Big American Trucks are sexy.

The End.